Wednesday, 3 August 2016

A Lincolnshire Tale

Once upon a time, Mavis Enderby and Mablethorpe went with Ancaster to Chapel wearing their Great Coates, but the weather turned so warm that they wished they had worn their Somercotes.

When they left Chapel, waiting outside to Greetham was Old Bolingbroke with his silk Hatton.  He walked Witham down to the seashore, where they had the Holbeach to themselves.  But soon a Rippingale blew up and they had to beat a hasty retreat, making a Halton the way back at the sign to Temple Bruer, where several other village worthies were congregated.

Here they decided to have a Little Hale.  Everyone declared it was a Great Hale and as fast as they emptied their glasses, the landlord kept Fillingham.  Eventually they reached a stage where they began to Bicker and Wrangle, and it was very easy to Nettleham.

Someone bawled "Anymore of your Sausthorpe and I'll give you such a Belton the bean that you may Well wish you had never been Bourne."

The landlord was afraid that there was Gonerby a rough-house, so he knocked on the bar and asked everyone if they Woodhall be reasonable and Stow it.   But then he lost his temper and started Hameringham.   In the melee, his barrels started to Leake, and most of his bottles and glasses had Binbrook.

Many of the participants were Horbling about and poor old Aby could only just Crowle.   His clothes would require more than a Little Steeping if they were ever to be clean again.

But here we must draw a Kirton on a village drama which began so Apley, but whose characters appear to be of so Littleworth.

Lincolnshire is home to many wonderful place names - and this is a tale which I have poached from a 1965 copy of Lincolnshire Life.  

There are lots of these and I'll post others as I come across them.   I particularly like this one as the real name of our village is included...because Parsonage Cottage is not in Little Bunting at all, nor is it called Parsonage Cottage, shock, horror!


  1. England has so many places with great names & I love the tale with all the village names

    1. Hello Bill, I confess that if I ever forget to take a book with me and have to wait in the car for any length of time, I simply get out the road map book and have a browse. Place names rarely fail to entertain me, but then I like maps too! I'm easily entertained.

  2. Love the names of your surrounding villages and the way you've put them together in that great story. There's a village near where I live called Hope and then as you go a bit further up there's 'Little Hope.' If you keep on going you end up on the Long Mountain - just waiting for somebody to name the next bit, 'Not a Hope in Hell' Saying that a little bit further up still is called 'Lord's Buildings' so perhaps that's as good as.xx

    1. Hello Molly, There's certainly fodder for a story there! I love quirky place names and small villages. I think summer may be here, today. The sky is cloudless (for once) and the sun is shining, which is rather lucky as we have been invited to a barbecue this afternoon, but first I must hitch up the dog and take him out. Enjoy your weekend.x

  3. What a brilliant Lincolnshire Tale!
    Parsonage Cottage would be a great name for a cottage.
    I joke with my husband about owning a small cottage and naming it Pear Drop Cottage. I would have a glass jar of peardrops beside the front door just for our guests!
    Thank you for your visit and have a Wonderful Weekend :)

    1. Hello Prunella, Peardrops! Now there's a sweetie which I haven't had for years. After my old blogs were 'stolen' I had a blog break, then I came back as Felicity at Parsonage Cottage, renaming everything as I went along. I hope you have a great weekend, too.


Lovely to hear from you!